Midnight Snack
by WorldOfTilt
Summary: Brittany and Santana haven't seen nor heard from each other in ten years. That all changes when Brittany and a surprise find Santana sitting alone in a diner on a rainy New York night. Originally posted at Livejournal
1. Chapter 1

It was raining again. It had been raining for two weeks and it was really starting to get on Santana's nerves. It's not that she minded the actual act of raining; it was that she minded having to wear rain boots and a raincoat and carry an umbrella just to stay dry for the ten minute walk to and from the train everyday. So much effort for so little time.

She rebelled once. She walked out into the rain on her way to work, no coat, no boots, certainly no umbrella. She really hated umbrellas. They did nothing but break. And when it was windy, forget about it. All they did was make for colorful little weapons. She only walked out without her rain armor once. By time she got to the train she was soaked. Her white blouse see through, her hair matted and her minimal mascara, her one makeup concession, had exponentially grown to what she was sure amounted to a small can of paint running down her face.

It was raining again when Santana stopped into her favorite diner three short wet blocks from her apartment. It was empty, she had a late meeting and it was closing in on 11pm. Not many people go out to greasy spoon diners at 11pm during a rainstorm but here was Santana Lopez. Wet, alone, tired and hungry.

She had just ordered a veggie burger when she heard the door open and shut. Well mostly she felt the wet air coming in before she heard it, but either way she didn't look up from her place mat. She liked this diner because they had crayons on the tables. She never really fancied herself an artist but she liked to doodle and it took her mind off of stuff. When she felt the door open she was on her third version of a very fat, very pink cat. She was giving this incarnation little orange boots and a brown top hat with matching bow tie.

She reached for the purple crayon because maybe the cat needed a mouse friend, when she felt eyes on her. She fought the urge to look figuring it was probably someone feeling sorry for the lonely wet woman sitting by herself drawing on place mats in the middle of the night. Then she heard the cry, a baby's cry. _Dammit_, she thought. There goes my quiet dinner. She looked up to see where the cry was coming from and that's when she saw her.

Brittany was standing in the middle of the diner, Santana's diner, soaking wet from head to toe with a crying and equally wet baby strapped to her chest. Santana willed herself to say something but all she could concentrate on was the sound of the baby crying. It was getting so loud she couldn't focus on anything but that cry.

"Santana?" the sound of Brittany's speaking her name broke Santana out of her trance and after a few tense seconds managed to squeak out a forced "Hi."

Santana and Brittany hadn't seen each other in ten years. Ten years since graduating from High School as girlfriends and spending that last summer together. Doing nothing but swimming in Brittany's pool with Quinn and Puck. They never meant to break up, it just happened, as things tend to do. They swore their relationship would last the distance, but with Santana going to school in New York and Brittany in Arizona, it just didn't happen that way. Time and distance and life happened and now all those things had come together and spit them out in a dirty diner on a rainy night ten years later.

Santana was staring out into space when she was hit with the realization that Brittany was standing in front of her with a soaking wet baby. Her instincts kicked in and she stood up while ordering the bus boy to grab some clean towels. She silently ushered Brittany to the booth she was only recently occupying alone and motioned for her to sit down. Brittany was silent throughout the whole encounter, even when the bus boy handed her the clean dry towels she did nothing but stare at Santana. Santana unhooked the baby carrier and laid him, _it's a boy_ she thought, down on her bench. She quickly stripped off his clothes and dried him. _He has blond hair and blue eyes and fair skin. He looks just like her,_Santana said under her breath. She gave his cheek a quick unnoticed caress.

"I think he has a dirty diaper, do you have an extra?" she asked while taking it upon herself to search through the wet diaper bag still hanging off of Brittany's shoulder. "Wipe your face and wring out your hair a bit, you'll catch a cold," she gently scolded while finally finding wipes and a clean diaper.

"Ok little man, my name is Santana Lopez and I am going to change your diaper. Do not, I repeat do not, piss on me." Santana made quick work of the dirty diaper, summoning over the very unlucky bus boy to dispose of it. She wrapped the baby in the last towel and held him up with a very accomplished look on her face. She finally noticed that Brittany had not moved a muscle since sitting down in the booth and became slightly alarmed.

"Britt?" _oh wow, it feels good to say that,_"Britt, are you ok? Are you hurt or sick? There's a hospital right around the corner do you need to go there?" She was trying not to panic, but in the twenty years she had known Brittany she had never seen her be this quiet or this still.

"What? No, no Santana I'm fine. I'm just in shock. I mean it's you right? You are really standing here?"

"Yeah, it's me Britt. I think the better question is what are you doing in roaming around the streets of New York with a baby?" The waiter came with Santana's veggie burger; he placed it down and asked Brittany if she wanted anything. "Get her whatever she wants; same bill, anything she wants, and the little guy also," Santana realized she was still holding a baby, Brittany's baby. Brittany ordered fries and a coke, nothing for the baby he was still breast feeding.

"So, is he yours? Like yours, yours?"

"Yes, he's eight months old," Brittany held her head down in what Santana could only read as shame and a wave of guilt crashed over her.

"Hey, hey, pick that head up. Look at this little guy, he's really cute and he seems to like me so he obviously has amazing taste. What's his name?"

"Max, his name is Max. It's not short for anything."

"Hiya Max, it's nice to formally meet you," Santana made a showing of shaking Max's hand which made Brittany smile for the first time that night. For the first time in awhile.

"So Max, what brings you to my neck of the woods? Huh? Job transfer? Oh yeah that happens. Especially in this economy." Brittany couldn't help but stare in amazement at the exchange happening in front of her. Santana Lopez, talking to a baby. Brittany's baby.

The waiter brought Brittany's fries and drink and the three of them sat together in silence eating their now midnight snacks.

"So do you have a place in the city?" Santana asked hoping Brittany hadn't been living in the city this whole time, right under her nose.

"Well, not really, we are kind of staying at a hotel up by the University. Have been for about three weeks," Brittany said sheepishly.

"Brittany you've been living a few blocks away from me for three weeks? Why here, why now?"

"I don't really want to talk about it right now San, I'm sorry," Brittany threw a fry in her mouth and looked away.

"No problem," Santana said looking at her now half eaten veggie burger thinking about how easily she and Brittany had falling back into rhythm. "So, do you want to stay over my place tonight? I would feel better. Making sure you and Max didn't get sick or anything from the rain or anything, you know." Brittany had to smile at Santana's sudden shyness. Apparently Max had an answer because just as Brittany was about to accept Max let out a big burp. "That means yes, Max says yes! It's settled. I like this little guy!"

Ten minutes later the bill was paid, a very generous tip was left for a very grateful bus boy and they were off to the hotel to pick up some dry clothes for both Brittany and Max. Santana strapped the baby carrier to her chest and stroked the back of a sleeping Max while she ran into the drug store next to the diner and bought the biggest umbrella she could find for the three of them to walk under.


	2. Chapter 2

Back at Santana's place, Santana and Max took the couch with Brittany sitting opposite them in a small purple chair that happened to be Santana's favorite. Santana was about to make small talk realizing the silence would get awkward very soon when Max woke up with a screeching cry that left Santana with tears in her eyes and Brittany explaining that he was hungry. Santana unhooked Max and handed him to Brittany suddenly feeling very uncomfortable in her own living room.

"Oh ok, um so you can feed him in the bedroom or if you want to watch TV while you do it you can stay in the living room and I'll go hang out in the bedroom," Santana started handing Brittany the remote control and heading for the bedroom when Brittany stopped her.

"Do you need anything Britt? I don't really know how that works, but I have towels and there are pillows on the couch. Do you want a drink?" Santana was visibly flustered while starting to pace her own living room.

"No, no Santana you can stay in here with us. It's ok, I'm used to it. I have to do this in front of people all the time. Here, here's the remote you pick something, just please, please stay in here with us and stop pacing." Santana reluctantly took the remote and prayed for something distracting to be on while taking her place back on the couch. She refused to look anywhere but the TV and after a good five minutes of channel surfing, Brittany begged Santana to just pick something. She settled on a cooking show and they both made small talk regarding the weird ingredients.

"Hey San?" Brittany whispered after a few minutes. "Yes," Santana answered without turning her head. "You can look you know, its ok. You can look at me." Santana slowly turned her head making sure to look no further down than Brittany's chin.

"Ok, see I'm looking at you." Santana huffed.

Brittany chuckled and shook her head, "yeah ok San you are looking at me." Suddenly Max let out another cry and instinctively Santana looked down at him. Her breath caught in her throat and time stopped.

"I said you could look but not stare silly," Brittany's voice shook Santana out of her trance.

"What? Oh, I'm sorry Britt, it's just I don't know, he just looks so content and peaceful and" Santana paused "and what San?" Brittany asked with a sparkle in her eye.

"And it's just really beautiful is all; you know the whole baby thing. It's just beautiful."

Santana stood up and walked into the kitchen to collect her thoughts. She did think it was a beautiful sight, but what she was really thinking about was how she hadn't seen Brittany naked in ten years and just seeing even part of the silky skin on her chest sent Santana reeling.

"Hey San, are you getting a drink? Can I have some water please?" Brittany called out from the other room.

"Sure, Britt, be right there," She walked in to find Brittany redressed and Max sleeping on the couch surrounded by throw pillows.

"He won't sleep like that all night, obviously he could roll off the couch but for now that's ok, right?" Brittany looked to Santana for an answer.

"Yeah, it's perfect. Do you want to take a shower or something?" Santana needed a few minutes alone and seeing as she invited Brittany and Max to sleep over, her options were few and far between at this moment.

"Yes! That would be great will you watch him while I'm in there? He should sleep through. If he wakes up try burping him again or check his diaper. Sometimes he just likes to be walked around. He likes it when I sing to him, he really loves Journey!" Santana laughed at Brittany's comment and watched her once best friend, once girlfriend, once everything, bounce into the bathroom.

"Towels are under the sink you can use anything in there," Santana yelled to a closed bathroom door.

About five minutes into Brittany's shower Max started to fuss a bit. "Come on little man, just hang out until your mom comes back," Santana pleaded with him to no avail. His fussing turned into crying, which turned into screaming. Santana picked him up and did everything Brittany told her about. She tried to burp him, which did nothing but cause an unholy amount of drool to drip down her arm; she checked his diaper, which was dry as a bone. "Only one option left little buddy you asked for it. It's Aunty Tana Sing-A-Long Time".

She tried to think of calming songs but the only thing that kept popping into her head was Songbird, "that song is only for your mom, I'm sorry little guy. That's her song". She settled on Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straights. She didn't notice Brittany was out of the bathroom, Brittany of course hearing Santana singing didn't want to ruin the moment and stood silently outside the doorway. Santana's voice hadn't changed much since High School; in fact if anything it was a bit smokier which made Brittany a little weak in the knees. She couldn't believe she was standing there watching Santana singing to Max. Her Santana, singing to her Max. Santana finished her song and placed a once again sleeping Max in his little nook on the couch.

"Thank you, Santana," Santana spun around to see Brittany standing in the doorway in only a towel. "Really, San, thank you," Brittany said adjusting the already short towel.

"It was nothing, he woke up but he didn't burp and he was dry so I just started singing and he seemed to like it. We could have used him as a judge during Nationals Junior year right!" Santana cracked herself up with that joke but Brittany just stood there with a small smile on her face.

"Yes, thank you for singing to him, but thank you for buying me dinner and for getting Max's wet clothes off and for letting us stay here and for still being you," Brittany shrugged at Santana while saying the last part but Santana knew what she meant. She knew Brittany was thanking her for putting everything in the past aside for at least tonight and taking care of her again just like she always had. Santana nodded, she knew exactly what Brittany was saying and it felt good.

Brittany went into the bedroom to change into her pajamas, while Santana stared at Max sleeping on the couch. "I still can't believe this is Brittany's baby," she shook her head clear and went to straighten up the kitchen. By the time she got back, Brittany had moved Max onto the floor surrounded by pillows and was making up the couch for herself.

"No, Britt, you've been sleeping in a hotel and you are probably tired, you take the bedroom. I've passed out on this couch plenty of times and remind me tomorrow to pick up a bassinet. For, you know, if Max ever wants to stay over again, just in case, or something," Santana offered awkwardly.

"Ok San, but I'm not kicking you out of your own bed. We are already imposing," Brittany said settling into the couch.

Santana was not allowing Brittany to sleep on the couch so she took measures into her own hands. In one quick swoop she pulled the blanket and sheets off the couch causing Brittany to fall on the floor with a soft _thud_. Santana was too busy laughing at Brittany's shocked face to notice the quick swipe to the back of the knees which caused her to fall just as hard. Brittany jumped on Santana and the two of them proceeded to roll around the floor pulling hair, pinching arms and generally acting like giddy little kids, miraculously neither waking nor tumbling on Max. Santana finally conceded, out of breath and giggly.

"Well, now that I have won this battle, it means I get to choose where I sleep. I choose," Brittany was cut off by Santana's plea for Brittany to take the bedroom. Brittany continued, "before I was so rudely interrupted I was going to choose the bedroom, but on one condition," Brittany was once again interrupted by Santana.

"Britt I don't think it's a good idea for us to share the bed. I mean I just...," This time it was Brittany who interrupted.

"Santana. Stop interrupting me. I was not going to suggest we share the bed but I'm glad I know where you stand on that. I was going to say my one condition was that you have to make me chocolate chip pancakes and fresh orange juice tomorrow morning," Brittany said with a bit more attitude than she planned.

Santana tried to explain what she meant, but Brittany didn't want to hear it anymore. She declared her sleepiness and shut the bedroom door. Santana didn't want to bother her anymore and felt comfortable sleeping in the room with Max so she shut the light and went to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hi! Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorite-ed, alerted, etc. This is my favorite chapter in the story, I just love the Santana/Max interaction here. I hope you enjoy it also.

A few minutes or hours later, Santana had no idea, she heard Max cry. She not so gracefully fell off the couch and crawled over to where he was sleeping on the floor. She did what Brittany had told her before, he didn't have to burp and his diaper was just a little wet, so she figured he must be hungry. She was about to knock on the bedroom door when a very sleepy Brittany stumbled out.

"I'm sorry he woke you San, he needs to be fed," Brittany took Max from Santana and made her way back into the bedroom.

"Wait, stay out here, please, like earlier. I'm sorry," Santana scrambled to her feet and back on the couch.

"Ok, we will stay. I'm sorry also. I shouldn't have gotten mad, you were right," Brittany said while starting to feed Max, "but I still expect pancakes and OJ in the morning," Brittany frowned at Santana who nodded and laughed.

At some point while feeding, Brittany and Max ended up on the couch next to Santana watching an old episode of Married with Children. "I had such a crush on Kelly," Santana admitted.

"Oh you and your blonds," Brittany laughed while elbowing a grimacing Santana.

"No, only Kelly...and you," Santana smiled. Brittany smiled back and put her head on Santana's shoulder. Soon enough Max was done eating and the three of them were fast asleep on the couch.

The next morning Santana woke up with the sun in her eyes and a pain in her neck. She looked around; the TV was on, she was on the couch, so was a sleeping Brittany and a cooing Max. "Hey buddy, good morning. Come on I'll change you then we will go get stuff for pancakes and orange juice, sound good?" Max smiled and drooled a bit, which Santana took as a yes. She threw on some sweats, changed Max and wrote a quick note to Brittany with their whereabouts and Santana's cell phone number.

The small grocery store around the corner was bright and empty. Santana had Max strapped to her with his baby carrier again, both enjoying the closeness. Santana picked up the pancake ingredients, oranges, some baby teething cookie things she remembered once reading about and a small stuffed duck she found in the baby aisle.

They paid for their things and took a short walk giving Brittany more time to sleep. They stopped by the pet store to say "hi" to the puppies and the bookstore where Santana bought Max her favorite childhood book, "Harold and the Purple Crayon."

After their little adventure, they made their way back to a still quiet apartment. "Good, mommy is still sleeping. Let's try to be quiet," Santana whispered to a smiley Max. She unhooked him and laid him on the kitchen floor with his new duck and book on a blanket after frantically sealing all the cabinets with rubber bands and tape.

She unpacked the ingredients and got to work, occasionally talking to Max or popping chocolate chips in her mouth. She got out her juicer and made the juice while the pancakes cooked. Pretty soon breakfast was ready. She felt bad waking Brittany up but she was sure all would be forgiven. She ran into the living room to set up a small coffee table with the juice and two plates of food. She and Max took a seat in the purple chair. She tickled Max to get him to make noise and as soon as he let out his first burst of laughter Brittany opened her eyes and grinned at the sight before her.

"You guys have been busy this morning," Brittany said while kicking the covers off and stretching. She sat up taking in a big whiff of the delicious smells coming off the plate in front of her. She motioned for Santana to start and they both dug in, Max sitting contently on Santana's knee.

"San, these are amazing," Brittany managed between bites. "These are so good. Thank you," Brittany beamed with a mouth full pancake.

"You're welcome Britt," Santana laughed. The rest of the meal was silent except the occasional moan coming from Brittany and giggles coming from Max. Afterwards Santana cleaned up still holding on to Max.

"You can put him down you know," Brittany called from the living room.

"I know, I know we are fine. Just hanging out," Santana finished cleaning and came back into the living room.

"So it's Saturday, did you have plans? We can go back to the hotel," Brittany said with sadness in her voice.

"No, I really didn't have plans for today. I try to keep my weekends open since I work so late during the week. I need to do laundry, but that's just in the basement and some food shopping, cleaners, just some errands," Santana shrugged, "would you like to come along with me? It's all within a few blocks from here," Santana pointed out the window to nothing in particular.

"Yes, we would like that!" Brittany clapped which caused Max to do the same. "That was his first clap! I always try to get him to do it but that was the first time! San, that was his first clap!" Santana was staring at Max with her eyes wide open. She never thought seeing a baby clap for the first time would make her feel so many emotions but she was on the verge of tears.

"That was his first clap," Santana repeated slowly. "I've never seen anyone's first anything," Santana still staring wide eyes at Max.

"You saw my first orgasm," Brittany corrected.

"Uhh oh yeah, yeah I did. I guess I mean a baby's first something," A flustered Santana tried not to picture _that _face that Brittany makes, but she couldn't help it. Brittany had brought it up after all. A visibly flushed Santana snuck away to the bathroom while Brittany once again coaxed Max into clapping.

They all got dressed and the three of them went to complete Santana's chores. They walked side-by-side around the neighborhood, Santana pointing out stores and things to Brittany and Max. While waiting in line at the cleaners, Santana tried to get Max to say her name, which only resulted in his sticking him tongue out trying to make an "S" sound. Brittany bragged that he can say "mama" but only after she repeats it to him "like a thousand times."

It was early afternoon when they finished their chores. Santana put away her laundry while Brittany fed Max. "Hey Britt, have you been to the pond in Central Park yet? They have lots of ducks," Santana smiled knowing that would get Brittany.

"I wanna go!" Was the only response Santana heard from the other room.

They three of them made their way over to the park with a blanket and treats packed by Santana. They found a small area on the grass near the pond and settled down. Max was happily rolling around on the blanket Santana set out while Brittany ran towards the ducks with the loaf of bread Santana packed in their basket. Santana lay down next to Max just embracing the relative quiet. Max climbed up onto Santana's stomach, resting his head on her chest and quickly fell asleep. Santana wrapped her arms around him and did the same.

A short while later Brittany bounded back up to their blanket only to see Max and Santana sleeping together. She quickly took out her phone and snapped a bunch of pictures of the sleeping duo. _He really likes her_, she thought, _It must be in our genes_. Not wanting to wake them Brittany went back to take a short walk and clear her head.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hi, thank you all again for reading this story! Here is the last chapter in this part. There will be some separate future one-shots coming soon that are really sweet and have a lot of Santana/Max cuteness.

It was coming on dinnertime when Brittany got back from her walk and Santana and Max woke up. On the walk home Santana ran into a large home-goods store, telling Brittany to wait outside for her. Ten minutes later an out of breath Santana came hurrying out of the store carrying a newly purchased bassinet. Brittany just stared at her, shaking her head. For dinner, Santana and Brittany agreed on a small Italian restaurant not far from the apartment for dinner, first stopping at home to drop off their things.

The restaurant was very small, no more than ten tables, darkly lit and romantic. They got a table in the back corner with a high chair for Max. Brittany ordered the spaghetti and meatballs, Santana the pasta with vodka sauce and Max had the special: teething biscuits. They made small talk waiting for their food to come, Santana about work and Brittany mostly about Max.

Out of nowhere Brittany blurted out, "I don't know who the father is."

"I won't judge you or anything Britt, you know that," Santana reached over and placed her hand over Brittany's.

"I know you won't. But other people have and do and always will. I just don't want Max to be made fun of...like we were," Brittany cried. Santana moved her chair around the table next to Brittany and pulled her in for a hug.

"It's ok Britt, no one will ever make fun of him. I'll make sure of it. You know that," Santana whispered in Brittany's ear soothingly. "You don't have to tell me the whole story. I would like to know at some point but whenever you are ready I am here," Santana rubbed Brittany's back and felt the crying subside.

Brittany looked up with tear stained cheeks, "I know you were always there, even when you weren't," Brittany started sobbing again, which made Santana's heart want to jump right out of her chest.

"I know, I know Britt. I used to tell Quinn that even though you and I were apart physically, it didn't really matter we were always together. It's true you know, I carried you with me every second," Santana was now the one crying much to the dismay of their accidentally imposing waiter.

Santana gave him a look that could only be interpreted as "put the food down and walk away as fast as you can before I end you." Directions, which the waiter followed perfectly.

Once alone again Santana wiped Brittany's tears with her napkin and motioned for her to eat. They sat next to each other hand in hand eating their meal in silence, interrupted only by the occasional giggle from Max.

Not wanting to leave just yet after their main dishes were finished, they ordered dessert and continued talking. Santana filled Brittany in on Quinn, Rachel and Puck. Brittany kept talking about Max.

"His middle name is Sol. Max Sol Pierce."

"I like that, Sun. He is very bright." Santana looked lovingly over at Max.

"Yeah, he is. But his middle name also starts with an S and it's in Spanish." Brittany hinted.

"Yes I know that Britt, you are being weird." Santana shook her head and took another bite of the chocolate cake they were sharing.

"No Santana. I named him after someone whose first name starts with an S and whose middle name starts with an M. His initials are the opposite of that person," Brittany spoke slowly and deliberately.

"You named him after someone whose first and middle initials are S.M...oh." It finally clicked in Santana's mind what Brittany was trying to tell her. "You, you named him after me?" Santana asked evenly, unsure of what to call the emotion she was feeling.

"Yes."

"Britt, you named your son after me?" Santana heard what Brittany had said but it wasn't quiet registering. Santana still couldn't place the emotion she was feeling, she had never felt this before. It wasn't happiness; not even elation. It wasn't joy nor was it necessarily pride. It was indescribable. She felt light headed and dizzy, yet her heart felt heavy with love and this unnamed emotion.

"I...I don't know what to say Britt. I am honored. I can't believe it. He is named after me? That's really heavy." Santana started to come out of her cloud. "Thank you so much Britt, this means more than you can imagine."

"You are the two most important people in my life, my life revolves around his and yours, like the sun." Brittany stated matter-of-factly.

They ate the rest of their dessert in silence, Santana staring at Max as if seeing him differently now.

Back at the apartment after dinner a very determined Santana got to work putting the bassinet together while Brittany fed Max. After all the bolts were tightened Santana fake fist bumped Max and put him in his new bed gently placing his duck next to him.

"I don't know who the father is because I was in a really rough time in my life and I was being foolish and dangerous and sleeping with a lot of people. I stayed in Arizona after school, after we broke up. I got a really great job as an administrator for the Phoenix school systems music and dance department," Brittany said, her voice cracking, "but because of budget cuts, they had to let me go, I was lonely, I was tired, I was sad, I was just in a bad place. I had no one in Arizona and I didn't really have a reason to go back to Ohio. I started to drink a lot, which meant I was at bars a lot. I got picked up most nights and didn't care who I went home with or where they were taking me. I wasn't myself, I don't know who I was. I was on autopilot. I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I stayed in Arizona for a couple more months after Max was born, I had an ok severance package from work and some savings. I finally realized there was nothing there for Max and me anymore so I came here. I just flew here, got a hotel room and have been looking for work. I was walking around looking for a grocery store that night in the rain. When I looked into the diner and saw you sitting there, I couldn't believe it was you. I figured you stayed in New York after school but I wasn't sure. I don't really speak to anyone anymore. Quinn calls me every once in awhile but I don't pick up, she leaves nice voice mails though. I just wanted you to know. I'm totally sober now by the way, as soon as I found out I was pregnant I stopped being destructive," Brittany finally stopped after what felt like hours to Santana.

"Britt," was all Santana could get out as she slowly turned around to face Brittany. She didn't know what to say. She just pulled Brittany in for another hug and thanked her for sharing the story.

Brittany pulled back, "every day for the last ten years I thought about you. When I was working, when I was shopping, eating, cleaning, and breathing. When I was drinking, your face was the only clear thought I had, when I was laying under countless other bodies, yours was the only one I was thinking about," Brittany poured onto Santana, "I swear San, I swear."

Santana could do nothing but nod, she finally opened her mouth to say all of that back when she felt Brittany lunge at her, attacking Santana's mouth with her own.

"Brittany, Brittany stop," Santana managed to get out while pushing Brittany off of her. Santana jumped to her feet, a little turned on and a lot confused. "Britt, we can't do this. I can't do this."

"Why not?" Brittany moved in towards Santana again.

"Britt, stop. You can't kiss me!" Santana yelled, "If you kiss me this is real and I don't know if I can handle this being real. Let's not kid ourselves, we've essentially been playing house for the past few days and while it's been amazing it's not real. This isn't how it's always going to be. I love you Brittany and I don't know how it's possible but I love Max and I can't keep playing games." Santana was out of breath, all of her emotions showing on her face at once; love, anger, sadness, regret, fear.

"We aren't playing San. This is real to us. I love you and Max loves you, why can't we make this work?" Brittany pleaded.

"Do you know what I went through the past ten years?" Santana yelled, "I know you had a hard time. I know you did, but I've been doing nothing. Nothing. I don't have friends or any semblance of a social life. I couldn't get out of bed for two weeks after you told me you couldn't handle the distance. After we broke up; after you broke up with me I threw myself into school. Do you know what I do for a living? I don't even really know what I do. I make a shit-load of money that I don't spend. I sit alone in a room all day. I hate my life. And then you just waltz in and make everything better! You made everything better and I am supposed to just accept that. I am supposed to just be happy now. After being miserable for ten years. Just because you want back in my life?" Santana finally stopped yelling when she heard Max cry.

Both Santana and Brittany ran over to his bassinet. "Just please stop yelling, you're scaring him," Brittany whispered to Santana.

Santana stepped back, "don't you say that," she hissed. "I did not scare him, don't you dare say that." Santana leaned back down to Max waving his duck and making soft cooing sounds. He calmed down and fell back to sleep.

She looked over a Brittany's tear streaked face. "I'm sorry Britt, I just feel like I'm going crazy. I don't know if I can do this."

"Santana, I know you suffered. I didn't know how much but I knew you were. I'm sorry. I never meant for this all to happen. I just couldn't deal with being away from you during college and I made a mistake by breaking things off. I should have tried harder to find you after college but you wouldn't return any of my calls or letters. I didn't know what to do so I moved on, physically at least. But we are working now. Why can't you put the past behind you and look at the present?" Brittany pleaded, walking closer to Santana who moved further away.

"Because these past couple of days made me realize that I need you in my life. I can't lose you again, I can't do that again. I am terrified of losing you again. I can't go back to how I was two days ago. I knew I was unhappy but being with you again made me see how happy I can be and I can not go back," Santana's body violently shaking from the force of her sobs. This time when Brittany moved closer Santana let her body be brought in to strong pale arms. They stood like that for a few minutes, Santana shuttering with tears wrapped in Brittany's arms.

"I promise I won't leave again. I swear." Brittany whispered into Santana's ear. "I'm sorry for all the hurt I caused you and myself, but I promise if you will let me stay I will stay forever."

Santana pushed back from Brittany's arms, "I should have taken the next flight to Arizona to get you back but you hurt me so badly Britt. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to come after you."

"None of this is your fault. Please let me fix it," Brittany clasped her hands together as if in prayer. Santana collapsed into Brittany's arms again, the emotional high of the last few minutes finally taking their toll on her long abused mind. "Come on San, let's go to bed." Brittany guided Santana into the bed. Santana immediately curled into a ball, Brittany enveloping her from behind.

Right before falling into a deep sleep Santana realized that it hadn't rained in two days.

Santana woke up in bed a few hours later cold and alone. From under the bedroom door she could see a small sliver of light coming from the living room, she tip toed to the door and opened it just a crack. She could see the side of Brittany feeding a sleepy Max. She stood there like that for a few minutes before seeing Brittany get up to put a sleeping Max back in his bassinet.

"You know Maxy, she really does love us she just has a hard time dealing with her feelings sometimes." Brittany whispered to Max. "Remember when you were in my tummy I used to tell you about her. I used to tell you all the songs she would sing to me. She's going to do that again, I promise."

Santana was standing in her bedroom listening to Brittany talk to Max. She realized she was standing in the middle of one of those moments, those life changing, find out who you truly are moments. She took a step back towards the bed, took a deep breath and confidently walked through the bedroom door into the living room.

"I love you." Santana practically yelled.

Brittany, whose back was towards Santana slowly turned around, almost afraid to spook Santana and make her run away.

"Is that enough for you?" Brittany asked, scared of saying the wrong thing and turning the progress around.

"Yes. It is and it has always been. Move in here with me, both of you. Let's start our life again. I am not losing you again." Santana stood still waiting for a response, her breath loud in her ears.

"Ok, but on one condition." Brittany threatened as she put Max back in his bassinet, "you make me pancakes at least once a month." Brittany giggled and jumped into Santana's arms.

"Come on, let's go to bed. We will go to hotel tomorrow and get the rest of your things." Santana took Brittany's hand and led her back to their bed.


End file.
